Confusion

Sometimes i sit to wonder if things were really as simple as they looked and appeared...Strange but true however hard we try to see life through a pair of cleaned eyes...its ceases to be so and presents itself in some distortion or the other...

Relationships and people are what add the versatility to this so called otherwise straight thing called LIFE...It is a different journey in itself to experience the hues of this variation that paints the world...Typically what every youngster tries to figure out is the direction in which his/her life is heading and the circumstances that govern this decision which in most cases charts out the thought process...caught in the maze of ambitions, dreams, aspirations ,lust and the list never ends...this conundrum of ideas is what pushes us on the path of the buzz word we call CONFUSION...however hard we try to get our act together this always leaves it streaks behind..

life repeats and this cycle sometimes haunts...and somethings that we try to escape seem to reappear all the time making situations sticky...i may be going absolutely awry with this excerpt but this is clearly a reflection of the conundrum that rents each one of our heads and this mystery is hard to break as somethings in life have no well defined answers!!

Moments

This post is coming after a long hiatus but this time the endeavor is not to try any new genre but stick to something i am good at and which truly summarizes my feelings.Life has been the best teachers and i can't agree on this one more than anyone else. I have been tutored at every stage with the same vigor despite the repeated mortal errors that i keep repeating despite warnings.But i guess thats how we humans are which is why we exist on the planet and fade into oblivion as we finish our sojourn on the planet.The beauty of living life is getting into the nuances of the reason for our creation and our purpose on this planet.Without a goal we are merely living things with any direction.The goal need not be a mammoth dream that sees monetary success or fame or any other form of success ,it can be just be a small attempt to be able live each day fully.This may be a very relative definition of a goal as the enjoyment takes different definitions according the perceptions but living a commensurate life which is regret free is difficult.The moments that come by into our lives each day are unique and never repeat themselves.Experience has taught that every second of our life charts out a new path towards our final destination.These small cues are the steps to the final pagoda that sums our life.It may be hard to decode the clues but something that can be done is to value every moment and respect it by living it.As strange as it may sound sometimes being a part of another's happiness may be profoundly fulfilling and satisfying than our own happiness.The pleasure and privilege of making another happy just adds a new tinge to the moments that define our life.The small little things in life that make life commensurate may just mean sharing happiness and sorrow with people.The strength that people bring with them in terms of moments stay for life and are priceless in terms of value.My life is replete with examples wherein i people have been a bolster whenever i have needed them and which has redefined my faith in the mankind.

I somehow tend to hit the emotional side of me whenever i get down to blogging but this space helps me a lot in viewing the world through my lens.I admit the world is neither black nor white but has hues of gray to it which is what makes this planet a unique place to exist.Life would have been cloyingly boring if the world was perfect and the humans similar.Its the differences that make it more fun.I have always loved observing individuals and learn more about their behavioral patterns which only aids to my analysis on the complex nature of mankind.I seem to be in this mood to just pour out pages and pages on whats working in my mind but i will choose to apply a period at this juncture and state that the above lines are a glimpse of what will be coming in the forthcoming days.

Thanks n Happy birthday Maa....

Dear Readers,

This post is a dedication to my Maa who means a whole world to me and through this I am wishing her on her Birthday....The lines that follow are my humble respect and love for her....

24th April 2010

Time:23:30

Dear Maa,

I have been thinking all these days about the best gift to give you but you are so special that i couldnot find anything that would come even close to you and hence decided to my first love as a gift. As i sit down to pen down something i just let the emotions in my heart flow out to express my feelings the best way.

I am going to keep this one short and simple but definitely want to tell you how much i love,respect and care for everything you have done for me.As i take a quick glimpse of my life so far it has indeed been a journey that i will remember and it has been so due to your undeterring support,encouragement to every move of mine.I can't find a better occasion and moment to say this as i truly feel it is

You who have made me what i am today.I may sound cliched in saying so but sometime i like being so.I can't thank you enough for infusing in me values and morals that are coming of great help as i live life independently and solitary in this foreign land.Indeed life away from home has not been an easy transition for me but every lesson that i learnt through you prepared me for the same.You have been extremely harsh with me but i thank you for those times taught me to relish merry moments.You have inspired me so greatly as not just a mother,teacher but above all as an individual that U will always be my mentor.You have pulled me strong through rough situations and stood by me like a rock during every hardship and i can't really express gratitude and make the whole act look wee.You have motivated me every day through your writings and faith in me.You have taken every effort to make me what you dreamt of being which in itself is an altruist act and love seeing my growth.You have been so modest and humble in accepting that U learnt life through me,which is my privilege and honor to be born to u.You have nurtured feelings of goodwill,positivity and optimism so much that negatives stay at the circumference.You have prayed for hours together just to make sure that i can give my best in every act.You have been so selfless that i have no words to put them down.You are so youthful and try to keep up with the pace of our generation.You have no idea how much i have missed you in the last few months but never made it verbal as i wanted to put across my strongest stead before U which is also a lesson i learnt through you.I have had the fortune to be able to explore newness in my life and can never thank U and DAD enough for the same.

It is indeed my honor to be born to both of U.Even as u keep iterating the fact that u did nothing beyond your duty i saw it as acts of selflessness,love,magnanimity,humility.I have chosen to just focus on your contribution even though i know that Dad too has a big role to play in the whole process but this is my dedication to YOU Maa and have reserved something more to add for Dad...

I am so high on emotions right now that i cant write any further and hence choose to call you right away as it is almost 12 in INDIA and hope that I can be a great daughter.Thanks Maa...Love you a lot for everything.....
Happy Birthday Maa!!!Hope You have a great birthday!!!

Love,

Shru(Kalyani)

LIfe so far 4

This blog is coming after quite a while as the last two weeks saw me trying to bounce back to routine after the very refreshing spring break.The spring break saw my days filled with joy,fun which took me to a world with no work and transcended all boundaries of mundane routines.It was such a welcome change to my otherwise monotonous life that i left no stone unturned in optimizing every moment of the break.I came to realize that sometimes things just need to happen and the turn out to be the best when they occur out of turn.
Life so far has been a very enriching and fulfilling in every sense.I have had the fortune to experience magical moments which have redefined my purpose of existence.As days slip by wisdom dawns upon me and truth brushes against me. It has indeed been through accidental situations that i have learnt the most valuable lessons.It takes a lot of insight to be able to decode the meaning behind unprecedented events,but it is these events that alter the course of life greatly.My life has been a perfect mix of unplanned things falling in place for the best to unveil.It takes hours of meticulous planning to execute a task and a few seconds to destroy the same.Analogously my life has been built by such events occurring out of turn but leaving behind memories and relationships to burgeon keeping all negatives at bay.Life has really taught me a lot more than i can put down in this blog but this attempts at bringing forth the driving force of my life-events.My whole life stands testimony to the fact that best moments have occurred as a consequence of chance.The people whom i have closely associated with are all a matter of sheer chance and these are those individuals who really make a difference to my life.As i prepare myself to witness many more such fun-filled chances that will certainly contribute positively towards my growth.At this juncture i would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to the ALL MIGHTY for making my life so very different,and motivating me to look beyond the superficial film of life.
This is also the concluding post to my LIfe so far series which has been a success for me as a blogger as i have personally connected with each post and tried to present my honest views.I have enjoyed penning down every word in this series and have seen my life with greater acuity.During the journey of my life this stage of my life so far series has introduced me to people and ideas that will stay with me for life.This post bids adieu to strings of posts and promises to bring a better post with sequels in the next.I sign off on a very optimistic note thanking all my followers and readers for their words of encouragement that makes me complete as a blogger!!

LIfe so far 3

Just as we seem to be conquering the world with technology somewhere we are put back in place by the force of nature.It is this power that makes us ram upon the small little moments that make a difference to our lives.All our life is spent in pursuit of chasing our dreams and doing so we tend to overlook the small little things that define us.Life is too short to be chased it needs to be played,cherished and enjoyed so that it turns out to be a pleasure more than a struggle.May sound very idealistic at this stage but these thoughts are currently flashing through my mind after Mexico was hit by an earthquake that measure 6.9 on the Richter scale.The very thought of being in the radius of about 100 miles from the epicenter is scary in itself.The land seemed to just vibrate for about 30 -60 seconds putting almost every human feeling it a bunch of nerves.As humans we have taken things for granted and so is the case with nature.The focus of this blog is not to bring about environmental consciousness but to bring forth the value of small moments that play a vital role in each of our lives.
Life is not easy for anyone of us because if it were so it would be taken for granted.Each attempt to succeed is proceeded by several failed attempts and were it not for these we would have never seen the best within us.The crux of growth lies in taking into account the lessons that moments of our life deliver.Each moment of our life is scripted the way it is with a purpose and we need to identify.We need to look beyond the mundane and trivial things that surround us and proceed towards self improvement.
I personally feel that the only way we can make a difference to the world is by making it within ourselves.I believe that the only way we can be receptive to change is by being proactive.There have been small,trivial incidents which have gone a long way in teaching me the most important lessons.It is not an easy task to be able to absorb because it requires a lot of effort to be able to see beyond "I me and myself".Today as i sit down yet again to express my feelings i m hit by a deep thought about life and its evanescence.This makes my resolve even stronger to live a more content, happier and an active life wherein each day of life adds meaning to my own existence.I am closing this post and look forward to bringing in something new with my next....

LIfe so far 2

This post is a sequel to the previous and focuses on the journey of my life so far highlighting the key events so far.Life is not easy miles away your loved ones with whom we take all our liberties.Life is taken for granted and things are made to look easy and tractable with their endless strings of effort.I was no exception and back home it was my inner circle of family and friends who made life look absolutely simple.Their act seemed so effortless and altruistic that I hardly realized the value of their actions.This reality hit harder on me when i set foot on the soils of San Diego.The idea of managing things all by myself wasn't foreign to me but the scale of operation was different this time.I would be responsible for every act of mine and had to take each decision with utmost caution and be prepared to combat new challenges each day.

Even though i was an extremely vibrant and gregarious individual in India,i had to take small steps at a time in making new friends here.This task was not the easiest as during these 8 months of my stay i have seen individuals from different backgrounds with complex shades of emotion.Initially i put myself across as a shy and quiet person but this was very unlike me.Caught in the quandary of the mind i was unsure about how to act and go about with this new phase in my life.I started becoming a person who had a limited circle and who stuck around with familiar faces all the time.As time slipped on i began to feel lost in this new world as my domain of interaction was limited and my social life had taken a complete back seat.I had reduced myself to nothing for a few unknown fears that were never to materialize.I had placed some self imposed rules for myself which held no consequence to the given situation.The loneliness and uncertainties began haunting me at every stage bringing in thoughts that were defying the very purpose of my journey.It was at this juncture when i decided to release myself from the shackles of loneliness and lifted self imposed conditions i had placed on myself.I decided to embrace the world the way it worked and widen my network.It was a indeed a pleasure to get back to my old cheerful self who loved socializing.There was no looking back after that day and i guess i have learnt a lot from all those individuals who have been a part of journey.I reiterate the above statement quite often because i strongly believe that people make me feel more complete as an individual.I have had the fortune to come across so many great human beings who have opened a new vistas of learning and growth.People with whom i have really established the connect and can bank on them for any advice at any point in life.I have come to relish the company of people and take up the best in them.The best part of every incident is the essence it leaves behind and this has brought out the best in me in terms of social skills and led me know human emotions through a closer eye.

Like a flash of a lightening months have passed by and here i am living my new life with the same comfort as before.The difference being the accumulation of knowledge and the support of my friends who have almost become family to me.This post is dedicated to all my dear friends in San Diego who have helped me cope with my issues and stood by me whenever i needed them.This is my way of expressing gratitude to all those humans who have indeed made life smoother and happier.As i look forward to yet another day of life waiting to spray the world with my joys and get to know the world better through the eyes of other humans.This post has a sequel so my blog followers there is more to come...on a condition that i get feedback!! :)

LIfe so far- 1

Its really strange how the best of my thoughts flow from my head after the strike of 2 and bring upon wisdom at its best.As i sit down to pen yet another blog again after a month long hiatus hoping to do complete justice to this space and my learnings.It has been almost 8 months in this foreign land and each day has made me evolve as a better human.Each day has presented me with oppportuinities galore to draw inspiration and grasp from the best around me.This has marked the beginning of sorts in my life and unravelled the deeper truths of life in a harsh manner yet retaining the essence of living.
Every human being leaves behind safe shores with a glint of aspiration and hope for something loftier and i was no excpetion.My eyes held a vision for myself whose pursuit dragged me to look beyond.The very idea of a new setting was received postively by my mind as this was no sitaution as i had been through this several times.But this time the only difference being no family and i knew this for sure that this wasnt gone be easy as its on family that we fall back on during times of distress.Life is incomplete without challenges and i knew that the life i was embracing was replete with challenges tagged by valuable lessons that were to stay for life.
Life gets very monotonus when lived in a similar fashion and needs to be refreshed and rebooted every time its hits a low.The mundane everyday chores start making life merely a routine and defeats the purpose of our existence.I learnt to beat this melancholy and learnt to start looking for more pursuits to excite myslef and live a more purposeful life.I have definitely not lived uo to every word that i have stated above but am directing my efforts towards achieving it.I have become recpetive to things that give me plesaures even though it may be something extremely trivial.This has really chnaged my perspective towards things and keeps me happy and content most of the times.
Learning to beat stress isnt easy and i m in the process of coming up with new means to cheer myself everytime i m faced by it.I have realised the value of people and their contribution has been manifold in helping me make a seamless transition in life.Each and every individual i have interacted with come from an different walks of life and this gave me an insight into different situations.I have always loved obeserving mannerisms and traits in people and this helps me strenghten my analysis to come up with solutions to situations which i try and integrate into my life.
Life brings upon you the situations you dread the most but dreadful times never last long and are always followed by merrier ones which leave a lasting imprint memories in our minds.I learnt the key lessons of adjustment and became more responsible for myself.It is indeed extremely hard to live in union with individuals from different backgrounds but this experience has been enriching.It has helped me discern the good from the bad and most importantly taught me to see the good every in each human.May sound very hypothetical at this juncture when i accept that the meandering mind ceases to follow this but every analysis/experiment is allowed some bounds of error.So i give myself that much of margin.Yet will try to make wiser decisions and act strongly in situations that demand courage and boldness.
I can just run into lines and lines on this topic as this is something that is very close to my heart and hold great value in my life.Guess should present this as a series and thats what i intend to do in my next..some more ideas backed by some more experinces ...all veracity in my next few blogs...Making my connect with the hard realities and still learning to handle life in a better way...
Lastly this excerpt has given me a great reason to look forward to my day and close this post with a resolve to bring out the best in me each day!!

Dear Diary

This is coming after quite some time...its just that the right thoughts never hit the chord with the mind to pen down things..Its so strange that the smallest of things make a huge difference to the day and sometimes the loftiest of events cease to bring an emotion out..Staying miles away from home wisdom seems to dawn upon me each day and everything seems of more value and importance.The love for family and loved ones now really means much more than an a emotion and the heart yearns for these emotions..This brings to mind the two events that really made me realize how important human emotions were.Its only through crisis that we learn the most valued lessons.

My heart goes out to all those people who have been affected in the Pune blasts and Alabama shootout..Both these events stole every headline in the national and international circuit.Its hard to imagine how with the pass of each day people are marching ahead on the road to perdition.The heart and mind are no longer governed by the feeling of oneness but are separated by a divide that is far from being bridged.The human who originally began his journey expressing his happiness over the smallest of achievements like the discovery of fire etc has moved far beyond and now seems to be drawing a sadistic pleasure in taking lives.The very idea is disturbing and pushes the future into partial pessimism and darkness.In the Alabama shootout several students have been victim to this ugly face of terror and the trauma has left them paralyzed to fight back.The state of shock of losing a few of their noted faculty members and staff will remind them about the gory of face of terror...

The Pune blasts targeted at a famous bakery close to the Chabad house insinuates the attempt to hit out at the Jews again.The blasts prove yet again that TERROR seems to be overpowering the feeling of passion and love in each human's heart..This valentine i hope,wish and pray that i disseminate love,passion in each heart and uproot the feelings of hatred and contempt.I am probably asking for too much but on a personal level i can infuse this in my life,an idea is enough to scatter the seeds of change.

May sound extremely cliched to say that these events bring hearts closer and prepare it to be braver...This has definitely made me feel so and love for all fellow beings has increased manifold...

Love the creator and all his creations.....and will always live with this feeling in my heart.....

My idea about life

Life has been really strange in its own ways.Each moment so far has been enriching and a learning experience in its itself.I acknowledge every incident and the lesson i have drawn from it as it is these things that have brought me to blog about my tryst with destiny.
It has taken a lot of effort on my part to sit down to pen down a gist of the events going through my mind.The scattered mind hardly seems to settle at a thought and meanders from idea to idea pushing it to the cliff of dilemma.The phase of uncertainty never ceases to exist filling the air with a lot of hopes and expectations.May sound ironic as uncertainty and hope can never coexist but my complex mind fails to adhere to conventions and flushes every cell of my body with a ray of hope.It is probably experience that life has imparted to me through its lessons of dejection and success,hope and despair,and through every high and low the strength to storm through every hurdle successfully.Every experience enables,encourages me to do better for myself and evolve as a human being.Learning is a continuous process and this may sound cliched but definitely i have had a lot to learn over the years and continue to learn each day.
Life has been generous to me in every aspect and am blessed to be a part of the process of percolation of ideas through the people from the various walks of life.Life is evanescent but people and memories are things we cherish all through and carry .As we become a part of the bustling world we start losing ties with things that made us and slowly start living a mundane,monotonous and morbid life.The pace kills the emotions that make us and gradually we lose connect with the deeper meaning of life.However hard it may get but i wish to stay connected with my purpose and never let go of the calling that has brought me to this juncture in life.

A movie that inspired

I sometimes sit to wonder how life has shaped itself and always never have a concrete answer to the thought.It clearly brings me to believe that certain things are beyond the finite.This concept may sound extremely hypothetical and abstract but time has strengthened the roots of this idea.My life has provided me with ample examples wherein situations have left me with no answers and led me to follow a higher calling that was meant for me.This firm faith in the almighty is purely a manifestation of our conscience which discerns the wrong from the right.It is only when the mind hits against such a notion that the jigsaw puzzle pieces of life begin to unfold themselves.
The last two days have been enriching in terms of acquiring a deeper insight into things.It is often said that things come to you only when you are prepared to take them.It was almost after 7 years that i came upon this very popular movie which had a message to convey which was closely connected itself to the intangible,invincible and the impalpable- GOD.The movie brought forth the perspective of a physically challenged man who possessed a simple vision where he envisioned the almighty in every human he met.The abstraction predominantly dealt with the power to overcome ever obstacle and look for a reason that extended beyond the norms.The movie aptly titled sees the emotion love binding two hearts despite sworn by hatred and differences.Every scene had a lesson to offer and this has opened up new vistas of thinking.We tend to channelize a lot of our energy towards the trivial things in life and hence chase a life that is not meant to be ours.The world has shades of everything in it but it is in us that decides what we attract and our actions decide our course.It has presented me a parallel line of thought which if incorporated can make life smoother and much more meaningful.
Each day i look forward to making my life consummate with tasks that give me inner satisfaction and pleasure.On the road to betterment i am blessed to come across instances that mark a change in my life!!