Confusion

Sometimes i sit to wonder if things were really as simple as they looked and appeared...Strange but true however hard we try to see life through a pair of cleaned eyes...its ceases to be so and presents itself in some distortion or the other...

Relationships and people are what add the versatility to this so called otherwise straight thing called LIFE...It is a different journey in itself to experience the hues of this variation that paints the world...Typically what every youngster tries to figure out is the direction in which his/her life is heading and the circumstances that govern this decision which in most cases charts out the thought process...caught in the maze of ambitions, dreams, aspirations ,lust and the list never ends...this conundrum of ideas is what pushes us on the path of the buzz word we call CONFUSION...however hard we try to get our act together this always leaves it streaks behind..

life repeats and this cycle sometimes haunts...and somethings that we try to escape seem to reappear all the time making situations sticky...i may be going absolutely awry with this excerpt but this is clearly a reflection of the conundrum that rents each one of our heads and this mystery is hard to break as somethings in life have no well defined answers!!

Moments

This post is coming after a long hiatus but this time the endeavor is not to try any new genre but stick to something i am good at and which truly summarizes my feelings.Life has been the best teachers and i can't agree on this one more than anyone else. I have been tutored at every stage with the same vigor despite the repeated mortal errors that i keep repeating despite warnings.But i guess thats how we humans are which is why we exist on the planet and fade into oblivion as we finish our sojourn on the planet.The beauty of living life is getting into the nuances of the reason for our creation and our purpose on this planet.Without a goal we are merely living things with any direction.The goal need not be a mammoth dream that sees monetary success or fame or any other form of success ,it can be just be a small attempt to be able live each day fully.This may be a very relative definition of a goal as the enjoyment takes different definitions according the perceptions but living a commensurate life which is regret free is difficult.The moments that come by into our lives each day are unique and never repeat themselves.Experience has taught that every second of our life charts out a new path towards our final destination.These small cues are the steps to the final pagoda that sums our life.It may be hard to decode the clues but something that can be done is to value every moment and respect it by living it.As strange as it may sound sometimes being a part of another's happiness may be profoundly fulfilling and satisfying than our own happiness.The pleasure and privilege of making another happy just adds a new tinge to the moments that define our life.The small little things in life that make life commensurate may just mean sharing happiness and sorrow with people.The strength that people bring with them in terms of moments stay for life and are priceless in terms of value.My life is replete with examples wherein i people have been a bolster whenever i have needed them and which has redefined my faith in the mankind.

I somehow tend to hit the emotional side of me whenever i get down to blogging but this space helps me a lot in viewing the world through my lens.I admit the world is neither black nor white but has hues of gray to it which is what makes this planet a unique place to exist.Life would have been cloyingly boring if the world was perfect and the humans similar.Its the differences that make it more fun.I have always loved observing individuals and learn more about their behavioral patterns which only aids to my analysis on the complex nature of mankind.I seem to be in this mood to just pour out pages and pages on whats working in my mind but i will choose to apply a period at this juncture and state that the above lines are a glimpse of what will be coming in the forthcoming days.

Thanks n Happy birthday Maa....

Dear Readers,

This post is a dedication to my Maa who means a whole world to me and through this I am wishing her on her Birthday....The lines that follow are my humble respect and love for her....

24th April 2010

Time:23:30

Dear Maa,

I have been thinking all these days about the best gift to give you but you are so special that i couldnot find anything that would come even close to you and hence decided to my first love as a gift. As i sit down to pen down something i just let the emotions in my heart flow out to express my feelings the best way.

I am going to keep this one short and simple but definitely want to tell you how much i love,respect and care for everything you have done for me.As i take a quick glimpse of my life so far it has indeed been a journey that i will remember and it has been so due to your undeterring support,encouragement to every move of mine.I can't find a better occasion and moment to say this as i truly feel it is

You who have made me what i am today.I may sound cliched in saying so but sometime i like being so.I can't thank you enough for infusing in me values and morals that are coming of great help as i live life independently and solitary in this foreign land.Indeed life away from home has not been an easy transition for me but every lesson that i learnt through you prepared me for the same.You have been extremely harsh with me but i thank you for those times taught me to relish merry moments.You have inspired me so greatly as not just a mother,teacher but above all as an individual that U will always be my mentor.You have pulled me strong through rough situations and stood by me like a rock during every hardship and i can't really express gratitude and make the whole act look wee.You have motivated me every day through your writings and faith in me.You have taken every effort to make me what you dreamt of being which in itself is an altruist act and love seeing my growth.You have been so modest and humble in accepting that U learnt life through me,which is my privilege and honor to be born to u.You have nurtured feelings of goodwill,positivity and optimism so much that negatives stay at the circumference.You have prayed for hours together just to make sure that i can give my best in every act.You have been so selfless that i have no words to put them down.You are so youthful and try to keep up with the pace of our generation.You have no idea how much i have missed you in the last few months but never made it verbal as i wanted to put across my strongest stead before U which is also a lesson i learnt through you.I have had the fortune to be able to explore newness in my life and can never thank U and DAD enough for the same.

It is indeed my honor to be born to both of U.Even as u keep iterating the fact that u did nothing beyond your duty i saw it as acts of selflessness,love,magnanimity,humility.I have chosen to just focus on your contribution even though i know that Dad too has a big role to play in the whole process but this is my dedication to YOU Maa and have reserved something more to add for Dad...

I am so high on emotions right now that i cant write any further and hence choose to call you right away as it is almost 12 in INDIA and hope that I can be a great daughter.Thanks Maa...Love you a lot for everything.....
Happy Birthday Maa!!!Hope You have a great birthday!!!

Love,

Shru(Kalyani)

LIfe so far 4

This blog is coming after quite a while as the last two weeks saw me trying to bounce back to routine after the very refreshing spring break.The spring break saw my days filled with joy,fun which took me to a world with no work and transcended all boundaries of mundane routines.It was such a welcome change to my otherwise monotonous life that i left no stone unturned in optimizing every moment of the break.I came to realize that sometimes things just need to happen and the turn out to be the best when they occur out of turn.
Life so far has been a very enriching and fulfilling in every sense.I have had the fortune to experience magical moments which have redefined my purpose of existence.As days slip by wisdom dawns upon me and truth brushes against me. It has indeed been through accidental situations that i have learnt the most valuable lessons.It takes a lot of insight to be able to decode the meaning behind unprecedented events,but it is these events that alter the course of life greatly.My life has been a perfect mix of unplanned things falling in place for the best to unveil.It takes hours of meticulous planning to execute a task and a few seconds to destroy the same.Analogously my life has been built by such events occurring out of turn but leaving behind memories and relationships to burgeon keeping all negatives at bay.Life has really taught me a lot more than i can put down in this blog but this attempts at bringing forth the driving force of my life-events.My whole life stands testimony to the fact that best moments have occurred as a consequence of chance.The people whom i have closely associated with are all a matter of sheer chance and these are those individuals who really make a difference to my life.As i prepare myself to witness many more such fun-filled chances that will certainly contribute positively towards my growth.At this juncture i would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to the ALL MIGHTY for making my life so very different,and motivating me to look beyond the superficial film of life.
This is also the concluding post to my LIfe so far series which has been a success for me as a blogger as i have personally connected with each post and tried to present my honest views.I have enjoyed penning down every word in this series and have seen my life with greater acuity.During the journey of my life this stage of my life so far series has introduced me to people and ideas that will stay with me for life.This post bids adieu to strings of posts and promises to bring a better post with sequels in the next.I sign off on a very optimistic note thanking all my followers and readers for their words of encouragement that makes me complete as a blogger!!

LIfe so far 3

Just as we seem to be conquering the world with technology somewhere we are put back in place by the force of nature.It is this power that makes us ram upon the small little moments that make a difference to our lives.All our life is spent in pursuit of chasing our dreams and doing so we tend to overlook the small little things that define us.Life is too short to be chased it needs to be played,cherished and enjoyed so that it turns out to be a pleasure more than a struggle.May sound very idealistic at this stage but these thoughts are currently flashing through my mind after Mexico was hit by an earthquake that measure 6.9 on the Richter scale.The very thought of being in the radius of about 100 miles from the epicenter is scary in itself.The land seemed to just vibrate for about 30 -60 seconds putting almost every human feeling it a bunch of nerves.As humans we have taken things for granted and so is the case with nature.The focus of this blog is not to bring about environmental consciousness but to bring forth the value of small moments that play a vital role in each of our lives.
Life is not easy for anyone of us because if it were so it would be taken for granted.Each attempt to succeed is proceeded by several failed attempts and were it not for these we would have never seen the best within us.The crux of growth lies in taking into account the lessons that moments of our life deliver.Each moment of our life is scripted the way it is with a purpose and we need to identify.We need to look beyond the mundane and trivial things that surround us and proceed towards self improvement.
I personally feel that the only way we can make a difference to the world is by making it within ourselves.I believe that the only way we can be receptive to change is by being proactive.There have been small,trivial incidents which have gone a long way in teaching me the most important lessons.It is not an easy task to be able to absorb because it requires a lot of effort to be able to see beyond "I me and myself".Today as i sit down yet again to express my feelings i m hit by a deep thought about life and its evanescence.This makes my resolve even stronger to live a more content, happier and an active life wherein each day of life adds meaning to my own existence.I am closing this post and look forward to bringing in something new with my next....

LIfe so far 2

This post is a sequel to the previous and focuses on the journey of my life so far highlighting the key events so far.Life is not easy miles away your loved ones with whom we take all our liberties.Life is taken for granted and things are made to look easy and tractable with their endless strings of effort.I was no exception and back home it was my inner circle of family and friends who made life look absolutely simple.Their act seemed so effortless and altruistic that I hardly realized the value of their actions.This reality hit harder on me when i set foot on the soils of San Diego.The idea of managing things all by myself wasn't foreign to me but the scale of operation was different this time.I would be responsible for every act of mine and had to take each decision with utmost caution and be prepared to combat new challenges each day.

Even though i was an extremely vibrant and gregarious individual in India,i had to take small steps at a time in making new friends here.This task was not the easiest as during these 8 months of my stay i have seen individuals from different backgrounds with complex shades of emotion.Initially i put myself across as a shy and quiet person but this was very unlike me.Caught in the quandary of the mind i was unsure about how to act and go about with this new phase in my life.I started becoming a person who had a limited circle and who stuck around with familiar faces all the time.As time slipped on i began to feel lost in this new world as my domain of interaction was limited and my social life had taken a complete back seat.I had reduced myself to nothing for a few unknown fears that were never to materialize.I had placed some self imposed rules for myself which held no consequence to the given situation.The loneliness and uncertainties began haunting me at every stage bringing in thoughts that were defying the very purpose of my journey.It was at this juncture when i decided to release myself from the shackles of loneliness and lifted self imposed conditions i had placed on myself.I decided to embrace the world the way it worked and widen my network.It was a indeed a pleasure to get back to my old cheerful self who loved socializing.There was no looking back after that day and i guess i have learnt a lot from all those individuals who have been a part of journey.I reiterate the above statement quite often because i strongly believe that people make me feel more complete as an individual.I have had the fortune to come across so many great human beings who have opened a new vistas of learning and growth.People with whom i have really established the connect and can bank on them for any advice at any point in life.I have come to relish the company of people and take up the best in them.The best part of every incident is the essence it leaves behind and this has brought out the best in me in terms of social skills and led me know human emotions through a closer eye.

Like a flash of a lightening months have passed by and here i am living my new life with the same comfort as before.The difference being the accumulation of knowledge and the support of my friends who have almost become family to me.This post is dedicated to all my dear friends in San Diego who have helped me cope with my issues and stood by me whenever i needed them.This is my way of expressing gratitude to all those humans who have indeed made life smoother and happier.As i look forward to yet another day of life waiting to spray the world with my joys and get to know the world better through the eyes of other humans.This post has a sequel so my blog followers there is more to come...on a condition that i get feedback!! :)